Today, A Bright Pink Package Arrived in the Mail

What is the silliest story that you have heard of in the last 24-hours? Honestly, there are hundreds of stories which occur every single day. All of my stories tonight revolve around my wife, her antics and her workplace. Unfortunately her workplace antics tonight are “classified” and I am unable to share the what happened, where it happened or any of the details, as its too FRESH of a story.

It’s not like lives were lost, its just…

So, instead of talking about her work antics, I would like to talk about this bright pink package she received in the mail today.

As it turns out, a couple of weeks ago, she found a website called IPSY. IPSY (guys you will have no clue what this is. Or if you do, I’m guessing your significant other informed you of this site?)

Our routine at the mailbox downstairs has always been, whoever gets home first, collects the mail. Of course, today, it was my duties, as I had just returned from the Doctor’s Office about the thorn which pricked me as I was chasing a moose across a field. You can read that story here >> moose chase <<

The key goes into the box and the first thing I notice is a BRIGHT PINK BUBBLE wrapped item sitting on top of several pieces of junk mail. Without reading the “to label”, I knew it was hers.

My wife returned home sometime after 10:35pm due to the incident above which I am unable to write about. We chatted about our workday. And I laughed, and laughed, about what happened at her job.

Then she finally got around to opening up that Bright Pink Bubble Wrapped package. As it turns out, its a subscription she purchased from IPSY, which includes make-up samples. In my wife’s case, she is a Celiac, meaning she’s allergic to wheat, rye, malt, barley and Triticale. These are all forms of wheat-glutens. And because of her Celiac condition she has had to source an entirely new lineup of, well, everything in her life!

  • Makeup
  • Shampoo
  • Conditioner
  • Soap
  • Toothpaste
  • Deodorant
  • Laundry Detergent
  • Any product you can think of that might contain one of those 5-Celiac glutens, we had to replace around our house

You see, these everyday household items literally make her skin crawl, or her make-up makes her eyes puffy, her lips swell, her cheeks turn rash-red and other side-effects. Yep, being diagnosed Celiac (it sucks!) and whoever is in there life, too.

So, this subscription, well, its to a makeup company and every month they send her a new sample set of makeup. All of its contents, you guessed it: Gluten-free!

As she’s going through her new little bag, of items from her subscription, she is wiping eye-shadow on her thumb, looking at the colours against her skin tone and remarks, “Oooh, I think this eye-shadow is going to look really good on me!” 

I glance over noticing her swabbing her thumb joint and say, “Not sure I am following you? Since you are rubbing it on your thumb? What exactly is that?” 

Well, it’s eye-shadow,” she replies. 

Oh that really doesn’t explain it for me,” I retort. And “you do realize that I am not a woman, so I really don’t understand all the make-up products out there, right?”

“Yea. But your the only one I get to talk to about this new stuff! And I’m really excited about it. So should you. Because I’m going to look super sexy!” 

“Agh. Yes. That makes soooo much more sense now. Thanks for the tips. Can you put a little of that dark black eye-liner around my left eye before I go to work tomorrow?” I ask. 

“Why would you want black eye-liner?” she asks. 

“I think it will go really well, with the big fat red swollen right ankle that I have and maybe people won’t notice my limp as I walk around the building. Because they will be too busy looking at my black eye!” I say with a big wide grin. 

“You sure are a strange one,” as she picks up her new make-up, placing it in her new ‘Good Vibes Only’ pouch and walks out of the room.

~ James Curtis 

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